It's OK, I talk to myself alot. Some day I am going to log on here and see that I have a follower or 2!! Still keeping the faith!!! Trying to stay a bit positive today..Today is my friends 34th Birthday, and also 6 days since I told her I could not be her friend anymore......
She has been my friend for nearly 20 years.....13 of those years she has been a drug user.
I miss her, even when I call and check on her every day to make sure she is still living, she mentally is not there. I can't help her. And it makes me crazy that I can't fix her or make her understand that the 3 kids she has didn't come into this world to be mercy to her selfish drug use.
I have tried everything, I have yelled, loved, helped, and nothing changes. The drama and chaos stays the same. So I had to quit her. I was the one friend left that didn't have a shared illegal interest with. Her mess was affecting me, she wanted my help wtih her kids, and I gave all I could, but when it came to me wanting to mother them....she reminded she was their mother. It started eating at me, I can't do this. It was affecting my family and me. I felt like I was getting sucked into a sickening vortex. I cried alot, wishing and remembering the fun person that made laugh until I wet myself. I may never see that person ever again. I hate you drugs, you suck!
i'm sorry about that with you and your friend :( its hard to see something so powerful take over such a wonderful person. You did all you could. Sometimes- its up to them to let it happen and want to be sober. I like your blog girl :)
ReplyDeleteHi! Yea you have a third Follower! When I saw "Hello!!! Anybody out there!!! I laughed. I have felt the same way. I write and post and post again wondering if anyone (besides my close friends and family) ever see what I'm doing. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your blog too!
I'm at www.backcountrybelle.blogspot.com love to have you check out my side of the world...Arizona.